80+ Funny Book Quotes Guaranteed to Crack You Up

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Explore the best list of funny and witty book quotes from books 

Have you ever burst out laughing while reading a book?

I have, many times.

And I love it.

Humorous quotes in fiction or non fiction books are the best part about reading.

But the truth is I don’t usually remember most of the quotes once I finish reading them.

So I figured writing a blog post would be the best way to remember.

Find some of the most amusing and entertaining lines said by authors and writers.

To be honest, it has taken quite a lot of time to put together, but I am sure it is worth it because you are going to have a good laugh reading them, quite literally.”

How to Make the Most out of Hilarious Quotes?

If you are wondering what to do with funny lines from literature after you enjoyed it your own, here are some creative ways to make them even more useful.

  • Share funny quotes on Social Media: These witty quotes are great to share on Instagram, or TikTok or anywhere you like. 
  • Use book quotes in social settings: Next time when you attend social event and try using a book quote to initiate a conversation.
  • Share book quotes with your book club: Best way to make book club discussion fun and engaging. 
  • Incorporate bookish Humor into your routine: For example, using it as your email signature or text message sign-off.
  • Keep a book quote journal: If you are a true bookworm, you should keep all these funniest book quotes in a book quote keeper. 

Fun fact: I use most of these quotes on my ow Instagram while creating bookstagram reels. Check out The Creative Muggle reels.

My Top Three Funny Lines Picks

  • Books are no more threatened by Kindle than stairs by elevatorsStephen Fry – This Stephen Fry quotes is hilarious. I am so glad that people still love book!!!
  • Every man desires to live long, but no man wishes to be old.” Jonathan Swift ― Another funny one. It’s funny and its true…
  • If my book is open your mouth should be closed” – This one is the best, I want everybody to know this.

Humorous Quotes from Famous Authors

“Books are the perfect entertainment: no commercials, no batteries, hours of enjoyment for each dollar spent. What I wonder is why everybody doesn’t carry a book around for those inevitable dead spots in life.” ― Stephen King

” I tried to start a gang once. It turned into a book club” –Darynda Jones

” Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.”― P. J. O’Rourke

” I am simply a ‘book drunkard.’Books have the same irresistible temptation for me that liquor has for its devotee. I cannot withstand them.” — L.M. Montgomery

” Reading a good book in silence is like eating chocolate for the rest of your life and never getting fat.”-Becca Fitzpatrick

” I might be in love with you.” He smiles a little. “I’m waiting until I’m sure to tell you, though.” ― Veronica Roth

” They love their hair because they’re not smart enough to love something more interesting.”John Green

” Books are no more threatened by Kindle than stairs by elevators.” ― Stephen Fry

” Fill your house with stacks of books, in all the crannies and all the nooks.”― Dr. Seuss

” It struck me as pretty ridiculous to be called Mr. Darcy and to stand on your own looking snooty at a party. It’s like being called Heathcliff and insisting on spending the entire evening in the garden, shouting “Cathy” and banging your head against a tree.”― Helen Fielding

” If a book is well written, I always find it too short.”― Jane Austen

” There’s no such thing as a kid who hates reading. There are kids who love reading, and kids who are reading the wrong books” –James Patterson

” The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.”― P.G. Wodehouse

” But really, Marilla, one can’t stay sad very long in such an interesting world, can one?”Lucy Maud Montgomery

” Nobody’s perfect. Well, there was this one guy, but we killed him.”Christopher Moore

” Good books don’t give up all their secrets at once.” ― Stephen King

” Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”― Robert A. Heinlein

” I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”Douglas Adams

” It’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.”Lewis Carroll

” Do you remember me telling you we are practicing non-verbal spells, Potter?” “Yes,” said Harry stiffly.

“Yes, sir.”

“There’s no need to call me “sir” Professor.”

” The words had escaped him before he knew what he was saying”J.K. Rowling

” Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.” Charles Bukowski

” There are two kinds of people I don’t trust: people who don’t drink and people who collect stickers.”― Chelsea Handler

” The difference between genius and stupidity is: genius has its limits.”Alexandre Dumas

” Never hurry and never worry!” E.B. White

” Some people have lives; some people have music.”― John Green

Now, you two – this year, you behave yourselves. If I get one more owl telling me you’ve – you’ve blown up a toilet or –”

“Blown up a toilet? We’ve never blown up a toilet.”

Great idea though, thanks, MumJ.K. Rowling

” People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”A.A Milne

” If you aren’t cute, you may as well be clever.” ― David Sedaris

” Don’t think of it as dying,’ said Death. ‘Just think of it as leaving early to avoid the rush.Terry Pratchett

Mom says it’s because she has PMS. Do you even know what that means? “I’m not a little kid anymore. It means pissed-at- men syndrome”Nicholas Sparks

” And she’s got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.” ― P.G. Wodehouse

” I like to have a martini, Two at the very most. After three I’m under the table, after four I’m under my host.” Dorothy Parker

” No surprise. Idiots make it into every company. They tend to interview well.” Bonnie Garmus

” I began drinking because the thought that I was drinking gave me a kind of identity: each time I poured myself a brandy in the deserted afternoon I could say to myself ‘I am a woman who drinks.” Penelope Mortimer

” I’m quite illiterate, but I read a lot. ”J.D. Salinger

” There’s only one thing more boring than listening to other people’s dreams, and that’s listening to their problems.”Sue Townsend

In the beginning, the universe was created. This made a lot of people angry and is widely considered a bad move.”Douglas Adams

-Prophecy is like a half-trained mule,” he complained to Jorah Mormont. “It looks as though it might be useful, but the moment you trust in it, it kicks you in the headGeorge R.R. Martin

” I can’t sit still and see another man slaving and working. I want to get up and superintend, and walk round with my hands in my pockets, and tell him what to do. It is my energetic nature. I can’t help it.” Jerome K. Jerome

” Well there’s these things called books…. They are like TV for smart people.- Robert Redford

” I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.” ― Groucho Marx

Sometimes I think,” she said slowly, “that if a man were to spend a day being a woman in America, he wouldn’t make it past noon.”― Bonnie Garmus

” It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.” Mark Twain

” On the whole human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time.” George Orwell

” Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a dozen.” ― John Steinbeck

“If you don’t know where you are going any road can take you there”Lewis Carroll

Chuckle-Worthy Literary Quotes from Classic Novels

“The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.”― Jane Austen

“The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it”-Oscar Wilde

“The good ended happily, and the bad unhappily. That is what Fiction means.”― Oscar Wilde

“I mean, if you’re asking a fellow to come out of a room so that you can dismember him with a carving knife, it’s absurd to tack a ‘sir’ on to every sentence. The two things don’t go together.”― P.G. Wodehouse

“I think I have this thing where everybody has to think I’m the greatest.And if they aren’t completely knocked out and dazzled and slightly intimidated by me, I don’t feel good about myself.-Roald Dahl

“Lord, what fools these mortals be!” ― William Shakespeare

“History, Stephen said, is a nightmare from which I am trying to awake.”― James Joyce

Oh!” said my aunt, “I was not aware at first to whom I had the pleasure of objecting.” – David Copperfield

“Every man desires to live long, but no man wishes to be old.”― Jonathan Swift

“Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?”― J.R.R. Tolkien

“Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.”– Terry Pratchett

“One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.”― Virginia Woolf

“The lady was not young and fresh from the hand of Nature, but was young and fresh from the hand of her maid. – Charles Dickens

“Flirting is a woman’s trade, one must keep in practice.”― Charlotte Brontë

The Best of Bookish Humor in Quotes

If my book is open your mouth should be closed

He said: “Books or Me.” I sometimes remember him when I’m buying new books

Too Many Books? I Think What You Mean is not Enough Bookshelves

My Book Smells Better Than Your Tablet

You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy books and that’s kind of the same thing.

It’s not hoarding if it’s books

A book a day keeps reality away.

I disappear into books what’s your superpower.

I wish my passport kept record of all the places I have travelled in books.

Keep reading and clean later.

Books Are Drug For The Imagination And you are  100% Addicted.

I am not just buying books i am working on my literary legacy

books are the easiest things to pick up and hardest things to put down

I Rescue Books Trapped In The Bookstore I’m Not A Hoarder, I am a hero.

i’m not responsible for anything you tried to tell me when I was reading.

I tried to beat my reading addiction and it was the Worst two minutes of my life

you see me reading right and yet you speak

May your shelves always overflow with books

If It Involves Books and Pajamas Count Me In

You Can’t Read All Day If You Don’t Start In The Morning

Biggest lie ever: ‘I’m only going to buy one book.

I May Have Nothing Wear But I Always Have Something To Read

Social distancing or as I call it reading

Life Without Books Is Like An Unsharpened Pencil It Has No Point

I like books more than people


So there you have some great collection of amusing literary quotes that you can use on Instagram, birthday cards or even in your notebook.

Here are my top picks from the list, in case you are curious which ones are my favorites.

  • Books are no more threatened by Kindle than stairs by elevatorsStephen Fry – This Stephen Fry quotes is hilarious. I am so glad that people still love book!!!
  • Every man desires to live long, but no man wishes to be old.” Jonathan Swift ― Another funny one. It’s funny and its true…
  • If my book is open your mouth should be closed” – This one is the best, I want everybody to know this.

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Stephy George
Stephy George

Hi I am Stephy ! I became a bookworm in my late twenties. So I created this little corner of books online to share my love of reading with YOU! I want to help you find the best books to read so you won’t ever have to worry about your next read!

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