9 Self Love Books to Read in 2023

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Books on learning to love yourself

If you find it hard to completely accept yourself or unable to have high regard for your own well-being, you should read these list of best books on self love and healing.

Oftentimes we are so engaged in the lives of others that we forget to spare a moment to look into ours. 

I remember often scrolling through the glamourous Instagram feeds and agonizing over the luxury of other people, obviously ignoring the blessings I have. 

If you are struggling with self-esteem or confidence and looking for practicing self-love or tips on how to love yourself more, this blog post is a good way to start.

In this post, I share some 9 self love books to read .

Books that can teach you how to love yourself and practice self-love and compassion.   

Here are 9 books on learning to love yourself. Self-help books to find confidence and happiness.

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When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chödrön

9 Self-Love Books To Help Find Confidence & Happiness in 2020

Author: Pema Chödrön

Published date: 1996

Number of pages:  160 pages

 Buddist nun Pema Chödrön offers her Buddhist teachings in this book. Chödrön discusses effective ways to use painful emotions to cultivate wisdom, compassion, and courage. Also why being able to communicate with others is vital in order to overcome pain and anxiety. Pema shares some practical ways to cope with chaotic situations in our lives. When Things Fall Apart is one of best books on self love and healing.

Below is one of my favorite quotes from the book that empasis on the importance of learning to love yourself.

“To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest. To live fully is to be always in no-man’s-land, to experience each moment as completely new and fresh. To live is to be willing to die over and over again. ”- Pema Chödrön

Who should read this book? Anyone who is suffering from severe panic attacks or anxiety.


The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

9 Self-Love Books To Help Find Confidence & Happiness in 2020

Author: Don Miguel Ruiz

Published date: 1997

Number of pages:  168 pages

This book is inspired by a set of spiritual beliefs from the ancient Toltec communities. Essentially The four agreements discusses the self-created suffering of individuals and their own ability to transform themselves into a new experience of freedom, true happiness, and love.  

If you’re looking for books to find confidence and believing in yourself I would HIGHLY recommend The Four Agreements.

“Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally… Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves.” ― Don Miguel Ruiz

Who should read this book:  People who are looking for individual freedom.


It’s Not Supposed To Be This Way by Lysa TerKeurst 

9 Self-Love Books To Help Find Confidence & Happiness in 2020

Author: Lysa TerKeurst 

Published date: 2018

Number of pages: 256 pages

Just like the title of the book suggests, there are times when we say to ourselves it’s not supposed to be this way.  When life takes us to the disappointment we start to question the existence of god and wonder about the real purpose of our life. 

Lysa understands this deeply so she invites us into her own journey of faith and, with grit, vulnerability, and honest humor, helps us to shift our mindset and focus on the biblical assurance that God is protecting and preparing us for the best. It’s Not Supposed to be This Way is a great book for healing and self love. This book will teach you how to acknowledge your inner suffering and be courageous.

“Sometimes to get your life back, you have to face the death of what you thought your life would look like.”– Lysa TerKeurst 

Who should read this book: Anyone who starts to doubt God and his promises for a fruitful life.


 9 Self-Love Books To Find Confidence & Happiness in 2020

Choosing Me Before We by Christine Arylo 

9 Self-Love Books To Help Find Confidence & Happiness in 2020

Author: Christine Arylo 

Published date:2009

Number of pages: 232

In this book, Christine defines what exactly “love yourself” means. This phrase is such a cliche these days since all self-help books tend to focus mostly on this very subject.

In this book, you are going to achieve “actionable steps” to love yourself more.  This is definitely a great source of wisdom for women in their late 20s, 30s, and 40s! One of the best books on learning to love yourself.

“Our joy and love come from knowing what’s really important to me and then living a life that reflects it”- Christine Arylo 

Who should read this book: Women who are willing to embrace their flaws and ready to achieve self- love, and self- growth.


Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg

9 Self-Love Books To Help Find Confidence & Happiness in 2020

Author: Sheryl Sandberg

Published date: 2013

Number of pages:  217 pages

This book is a great conversation starter. You might want to read it with your partner, and talk about the issues you have always wanted to bring up and couldn’t. This is a great resource for women to accomplish success in all aspects of their lives.

“When looking for a life partner, my advice to women is date all of them: the bad boys, the cool boys, the commitment-phobic boys, the crazy boys. But do not marry them. The things that make the bad boys sexy do not make them good husbands. When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated and ambitious. Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants to do his share in the home. These men exist and, trust me, over time, nothing is sexier.”-Sheryl Sandberg,  Nell Scovell 

Who should read this book: Anybody who are willing to adopt sucessful habits for the best life they always wanted.


RELATED: 7 Non-fiction Books That Will Change Your Life

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb 

9 Self-Love Books To Help Find Confidence & Happiness in 2020

Author: Lori Gottlieb 

Published date: 2019

Number of pages: 432

In genuine, insightful and humorous writing the author explains why as human beings seeking help from is nothing to be ashamed of. From the glimpses from her own life as a therapist, Lori narrates incredibly informative yet compassionate psychological lessons. 

Definitely one of the best self-help audiobooks on healing and finding self love.

Find more self-help audiobooks to read

“We can’t have change without loss, which is why so often people say they want to change but nonetheless stay exactly the same.”-Lori Gottlieb 

Who should read this book: Anyone who is curious to know how a therapist understands life struggles and helps you overcome them.


The Dark Side of the Light Chasers by Debbie Ford

9 Self-Love Books To Help Find Confidence & Happiness in 2020

Author: Debbie Ford

Published date:1999

Number of pages: 208

In this #1 New York Times best-seller, Debbie examines the ways to deal with your dark side, shadow. And most importantly to deal with things (such as personality qualities) that you don’t like in other people or things you are jealous of others. The best way to comprehend these ideas is to practice each exercise from all these chapters! 

“It is only when we have the courage to face things exactly as they are, without any self-deception or illusion, that a light will develop out of events, by which the path to success may be recognized.”- Debbie Ford

Who should read this book:  Anybody who is interested to dig deeper into subjects such as the subconscious mind and spiritual journey! 


I Heart Me by David Hamilton

9 Self-Love Books To Help Find Confidence & Happiness in 2020

Author: David Hamilton

Published date: 2015

Number of pages: 264

Scientist David Hamilton unfolds his own journey to self-love and self-esteem. These self-tested methods help you love yourself more. His teachings and practical advice give you the confidence to come out of the bubble of self- doubt and increase your own level of self-worth. 

“Many people with low self-worth will go to the ends of the Earth to find the insult behind the compliment.” -David Hamilton

Who should read this book: Anybody who wants to increase their sense of self-love.


Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies by Tara Schuster 

9 Self-Love Books To Help Find Confidence & Happiness in 2020

Author: Tara Schuster 

Published date: 2020

Number of pages: 352

 This is the story of Tara’s path to re-parenting herself and becoming a “ninja of self-love. With her warm and genuine tone, Tara encourages everyone to transform their life through these guidelines and gain the same fame and success she has found. 

Who should read this book:  Anybody who is hungry for self-awareness and ready to work hard to gain success in life.


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Do self-help books really work?

I know there is an ongoing conflict about whether these self-help books are really effective. In my opinion, they would, if you want them to. 

Self-help books are just your mentor or life coach. Once you begin to try the principles from those books in your life, I am positive that you will start to witness a rather substantial change in yourself! 

For instance, I remember reading  Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic recently.  She mentions the successful habits of creatives; which is to embrace the fear of failure and just keep writing. The act of acknowledging the enemy (the fear) and also showing the courage to go on with your creative work. 

I love that practical advice. It always helps me to keep writing and find my creative genius. So in that way self-help books do work!

Have you read any self-love books before?

Let me know what do you think of them in the comments!

Always curious to hear from you,


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Stephy George
Stephy George

Hi I am Stephy ! I became a bookworm in my late twenties. So I created this little corner of books online to share my love of reading with YOU! I want to help you find the best books to read so you won’t ever have to worry about your next read!

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